just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
