I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Who died my cat blue again?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
