Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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