do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
only you would photoshop your dick
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize