Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
