He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
