he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
