Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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