i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just want nice things and good sex
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
