i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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