my vag is so smooth its legendary
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So vagazzling was a success
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
