Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
