You work out of a Hotel?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
