im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
