I'm eating all of the evidence.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize
