I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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