I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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