summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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