I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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