So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize