would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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