Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
