I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
