I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize