sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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