This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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