Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
operation have a gay friend backfired
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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