dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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