so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize