watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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