dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
If its not for food we ain't going out.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
