I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
