it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
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