I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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