the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
