Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
