Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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