The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
