i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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