I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize