I cannot find my penis.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
