Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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