Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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