its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
sex in a hospital.. check
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
