at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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