the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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