you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
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