you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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