i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Help. Why am I so naked?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
