this just has baby written all over it
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
