My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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