dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
