my mouth tastes like poor choices
never play flip cup with pint glasses
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
