Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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