Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
