Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
