Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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