Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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