Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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