i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
