How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
