This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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